Date: 10th March 2018 at 12:28pm
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Written by Geofspurs

I love the way that, when the transfer window ends, speculation about new players we are chasing continues just as intensely. Most of the gossip we see on a daily basis is absolute rubbish but the most recent player said to be on his way to the Lane in the summer has a definite ring of truth about it. For once, a credible journalist appears to have uncovered Spurs’ interest in a future ‘Worldie’ that the club have been at pains to keep under wraps for some time. And this player actually makes sense.

A reputable ‘transfer-investigator’ discovered one of the closest secrets Spurs have been hiding for months …. by complete accident!

Whilst on holiday in East Cheam he stopped to buy his seven-year-old son an ice cream. Ever alert to the possibilities of a scoop, he noticed that the couple waiting for service in front of him were wearing t-shirts with a Kentucky-Fried-Chicken logo on them. He immediately realised the connection between chickens and cockerels and became even more alert than usual.

He cunningly engaged the couple in idle conversation and was informed that they were on holiday, too. (Everybody in East Cheam is on holiday). The couple agreed with him that East Cheam was the idyllic place to holiday and added that many well-known people had often been spotted frequenting the same ice cream parlour. Imagine his shock when the couple volunteered the information that Tottenham’s dynamic duo, Mr Levy and Mr Pochettino, had recently visited for a vanilla ice cream cone.

A little later, and with his interest aroused, further research confirmed that East Cheam had a football club. A visit to the club’s ground established that the club boasted only one English player, a seventeen-year-old striker, on its books. Furthermore, the said seventeen-year-old had publicly stated that his football idle was none other than a certain Mr Kane and that his dream was to follow, career-wise, in his footsteps! Even more astonishing was the youngsters name; Anthony Lane Hancock (Lane!!); the grandson of a famous football pundit who had his own radio program back in the day! And more astonishing still was the fact that the East Cheam football team had been playing on the same day that the dynamic duo were busily licking a vanilla ice cream cone!

The evidence was overwhelming; chicken, cockerel, Levy, Pochettino, vanilla ice cream (one English player), Kane, dreams, Lane, football pundit connection, career aspiration, and the duo’s presence on match-day. It was the scoop of a lifetime and made the man go weak at the knees with excitement. The one thing he lacked was official confirmation.

Subsequently, the intrepid investigator contacted THFC to enquire about their reported interest in the East Cheam youngster. The club denied all knowledge of any East Cheam players, thus officially confirming their interest in the player and that it was just a matter of time before he graced the White Hart Lane pitch.

Some might doubt the credibility of these findings, but when compared to the majority of transfer gossip doing the rounds …. it has to be believed, doesn’t it?


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