Date: 7th June 2018 at 8:00pm
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Danny Rose comments about depression will have struck a nerve with a lot of football fans out there. No matter how much wealth you have or how lucky you are in life, circumstances can conspire against you to put you in a very dark place.

As football fans sometimes we do forget¬†to see footballers as human beings. How they perform on the pitch is the only metric we use to judge whether they are good or bad. It’s easy to spout off on social media or on any website criticising a person’s performance without ever considering the man at the centre of it.

Clearly, our no.3 was going through a hard time of it personally last season. For sure, a lot of the performances on the pitch were likely down to his battle to recover from a long-term injury. It was clear that he wasn’t close to the level he had reached in the previous campaign, but with his admission about his struggles mentally over the last 12 months, it does put things in a different light.

Men generally are not good at talking about their feelings. Especially in football, where tribalism is a key component of fandom, there is always a concern that showing weakness or any sign of vulnerability will be pounced upon. That is particularly pronounced as a player who faces opposing fans every week who can use it as ammunition to mock them. You can see how speaking out would prove even harder.

As fans of this great club, I don’t think I would be alone in saying we’d be fully behind Rose getting back to the top of his game in a white shirt. There have been questions about his loyalty following last summer, and perhaps those questions will still linger.

As fans though, we are human beings as well. On online forums, on Twitter and Facebook, our passion can sometimes go over the top. Passion is good when directed positively but there are times where it can lead to division. Arguments over managers, players and tactics can be fraught. Most of the time, it’s people who generally care about the future club. At the same time though, everyone should bear in mind that when criticising player’s performances, we are not in possession of all the facts.

You don’t always know what they are going through personally or even what they are like as people. Danny’s resolve to speak out does show a man with character and mental fortitude if nothing else. I’m hoping he has a good World Cup no matter where he ends up next season.

 

21 Replies to “Spurs Man’s Comments Should Help Us All Keep Things In Perspective”

  • Good on you Danny for coming out and been so honest about what you’ve gone through. For me I think the lad is a honest guy and says it as it is even if fans disliked the way he came out last summer he had a lot valid points even if went about the wrong way, fully fit rose is one the fullbacks in the league.

  • Being depressed sucks. Sorry to hear Danny Rose has been going through this. A big up for his speaking out. Let’s get behind him when he is on the pitch again and support our Spurs player. Be well, Danny,

  • Very well said Danny, been there, got the T shirt, depression can destroy you and your family, a big up to you for admitting it, that’s the first step to a full recovery well played. COYS

  • I also agree with with the posters on here. Danny should now think positive and embrace his England teammates, of which fellow spurs players are there for him. A lot of us have had similar problems in our lives and it is a tough battle to win, so first step is talking about your problem, and support and help from those around you goes along way in recovery. COYS and you too danny…

  • What do people say, especially to guys?

    Stop whinging. You just have to deal with it. There’s people a lot worse off than you are. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, etc… MAN UP!

    What Danny has done in revealing his anxieties to the world is the opposite to what many may now be saying about him, who are perhaps choosing to be cruel or insensitive or just don’t really understand… He is not whinging, moaning, being selfish or feeling sorry for himself…

    Depression is often perceived as a sign of weakness. It is so much more than that. It is of course recognised as an illness. And, as with any virus, disease and ailment, it can hit us all. And at any time. It can be extremely disabling. However, it is not a weakness in itself. Weakness can be a symptom of depression and not a cause.

    What Danny has done in admitting publicly to his recent state of mind is brave. It is a sign of strength and it is also an extremely unselfish thing to do.

    As a man in a high profile sport, about to be put under close scrutiny in his day job and, by exposure to millions around the globe, he has indeed ‘manned up’.

    To admit to his mental frailties and showing his emotional vulnerabilities to the world, is indeed brave. And, far from exposing weakness, it shows an inner strength that to many people, can now be seen as inspirational and hugely helpful in conquering their own hidden issues of depression.

    For those of us that have perhaps experienced any form of depression, be it mild or severe, it may not be something that just comes and goes away, either with therapy or medication or both. However, it can be something that one learns ways to deal with and to cope with in order to get on with a life, in the best way that you can.

    And, the first step in coping with it is probably the most difficult step of all. And, that is opening up… To a friend, a family member, a doctor or, in Rose’s case, to all of us.

    So, I admire Danny for his honesty in this and, I wish him all the very best. On the field of play and most of all, in his personal life…

    • HT….having suffered with depression 11 years ago, let me tell you it never goes away, the difference though is once you have suffered with it, you recognise the signs and so are able to do something about it, me its go and do something with aggression, that is weight lifting, always works for me as the happy endorphins in the brain start reacting.

      You talked about the verbals and weaknesses, yes you get all that, family and friends recognise it, but until you recognise it yourself and admit/stand up, everyone around you suffer’s, I would not wish depression on anyone. COYS

  • At the end of the day nothing has changed. He wants to leave the club for more money, depressed or not depressed it makes no difference. He’ll be on his way at the first opportunity. What is worth further enquiry is the club’s medical set up. Clearly they didn’t deal well with Rose’s injury, they delayed an operation on Winks. Just how good is the medical team at the club ?

  • Jod, Rose, said he was helped with Depression by the club … he has his own GP he can go to … you can’t blame the club always … As for Winks, its not as straightforward as you think. He could of been progressing well, then had a relapse …. who is to know … you have no clue to the set up so shouldn’t cast a judgement on it …

  • Some of us have been discussing this on the forums. A couple of thoughts I added there.

    THFC better have corrected their wrongs in training their entire staff including players and coaches on how to spot mental health. They now have 2 cases of kids taken from similar backgrounds and after a long time at the club have ended up with mental health issues. Obviously, Aaron Lennon was the other one and we all know the story there. My biggest individual learning was that it is down to the individual to manage their work-life balance but once the symptoms of distress hit a human they can no longer see things clearly. Their brain is scrambled and only peers. mates, family and managers can spot these things and get them out of it, sometimes with the medical folks taking a leading role. In the work place, it’s prevalent and everybody should always be looking out for each other.

    I spotted this with Rose a while back. In his controversial interview he made a comment about going back up north at some point in his career and the main reason given was to spend more time with his mum. That moment of vulnerability got me thinking. It was just an instinct, but I did think at the time his interview was a bit random and his body language was awful. Of course the press and the fans alike twisted that into him wanting to join Utd even though he said no such thing.

    That’s also leads to my last point about the press and media. Think about Gary Neville, the player. He was the “shop steward” in the England and Utd dressing room and was hugely protective of any squad player that he played with. So why did Gary Neville, the pundit, jump all over Rose on social media? The simple answer is that he did it to promote his own career with no disregard to Danny. Neville wasn’t the only one, but the main one, and knowing Gary he’ll adjust his approach next time and probably reach out to Danny to let him know he got it wrong.

    As fans we need to be totally intolerant to the media and press if they are sensationalising this stuff. It’s the same reason that there are no openly gay footballers. If the press and media treated it as “no news” like the rest of us do in society then all gay footballers could be comfortable in their own skin. The press and especially the media should be the role models for society. It’s so sad they rarely are.

  • ….and well done to Danny for having the hardest of weeks and then pulling on the England shirt and showing everyone he is our undisputed left back.

  • Well said Muttely, I fully understand Rose’s desire to return up north … I currently reside in Sydney NSW, I spoke to my employers today about resigning in the future. I advised them I miss home .. they thought it was job related [NSW Police Force] .. thankfully it’s not, but it does get you down when you feel isolated etc. I have never lost the urge to be in the UK and regret leaving, it’s been over 6 1/2 years now and every day feels like a month. I am not depressed but, I do have empathy with him.

  • E17yid…very good post there, feeling isolated can lead to depression, but well done for seeing this. COYS

  • ( Ona team Harry Kane coys ) new six year deal just signed ¬£200 thro a week plus ++++++++++ bonus yes he is the man since 14 England we ? He is capable coys zee best he as only began coys

  • HT & Muttley… well written posts on this thread. I agree with all you said. Pompey Yid yes it can be very deliberating as I know my aunty (dad sister) was a sufferer, when the dark clouds lifted from her she was the most wonderful person, happy and good sense of humour…sadly she passed away now many years ago.

  • Good read write hart . A suffer for life as a fan or as a human . Nothing like a cup win over the years to break it for a while . ( one team Harry Kane coys )

  • Thanks PY, depression is a stigma, very sad in 2018… men and women alike don’t seem able to talk about it. It’s rife, but majority do not want to hear of it, or told get over it “man up ” etc … I think it’s proven by rose, you van be wealthy but still suffer depression… I have suffered PTSD, many year ago, a naive 22 year old prison officer seeing some sights you never want to see, but with the right care and actually talking about it helps… now since being a police officer London/Sydney since 2002 yup old fart here lol … I know how to deal with issues and seek advice and air issues when needed. Let’s hope if only 1 person gets help from yourself mine or others disclosing of issues … it’s worth every letter of the post.

  • block d spurs….”when the black clouds lifted” simple description but oh so true, well said that man, sorry about your aunt.

    E17yid…sorry for the sights you have witnessed, being ex-military I can imagine/know what you have gone through.

    The truth is there seeking help and the most important thing talk! as you said air your issues and do not be afraid or embarrassed. Good on ya mate. COYS

  • Grumpy Old Todger – probably better if you actually read what someone says. I wasn’t passing a judgement I was asking a question.

  • All credit for being brave to admit his depression, I hope he gets himself sorted.

    What I don’t like is he is saying he had to get away from Spurs because of it, and how much of a relief it is to play for England. Find it odd that he doesn’t explain this to anyone at the club at all, I think it’s fair to say if he had told the manager then he would have given him all the help he needed to aide his recovery.

  • He is clearly bitter towards the club.

    The club didn’t even know he was on medication. Which in itself is ridiculous and very dangerous.

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